Since March and the pandemic began, I’ve struggled. Every social pattern I’ve had has been disrupted: family, friends, associates. My sleep overs with my nieces, shopping and dinner out with my mom & sisters, and time with friends laughing and cutting up …gone. And to make things more interesting, I started a new job last January. A new job means “new” people, new relationships, new vulnerabilities. It’s been a struggle, but it did not make sense to me until today. I just finished reading Brene’ Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection. It’s the best self help I’ve received since March.
Self-doubt is dangerous. It’s especially dangerous when one feels that everything is uncertain and unpredictable. It’s easy place to go when we are “new” at something. In some ways, second guessing ourselves can feel safer than believing in ourselves. It means if things go awry, I can say, “I knew it would.” But I’ve never been one to be afraid of failing, until recently. I’ve checked all the boxes, attained all the degrees, and built a reputable career. And all of a sudden, I get a new job and a pandemic ensues. Timing really is everything.
Here’s what I recognize: I must dig deep into what’s always worked for me: Believing in myself. Self doubt didn’t earn me-a kid of poverty, of a single parent, who grew up in government housing, on free lunch every year, struggled over and over again-any thing I’ve ever accomplished. Believing in myself, however, did. And that should never change-pandemic or not. And further, I am more than the sum of my accomplishments.
I’ve not blogged in some time, but I’m ready now, and I implore you to join me in not making these uncertain times make you uncertain of yourself. You are enough. I am enough. And it will all be ok.
Now, go read that book I mentioned. And enjoy every moment of life because if anything should teach us that life is too short, a global pandemic ought to be sufficient.