Our Pain is Our Power.

Today I listened to a great keynote speaker at the Responsive Classroom Leadership Conference. The speaker was Ceasar Cruz. He was awesome and inspiring. What I liked most about what he shared is that he was honest. Sometimes his honesty was painful. He crammed so much information into an hour and fifteen minutes and I have a new list of books I want to read. But mostly, he helped me to reach the realization that often it is our pain that gives us our power.

I, too, like him have spent time sharing the story of my childhood and how I grew up and into who I am with multiple audiences. People are inspired when they hear how my sisters and I trudged our way through a life of poverty to accomplish a great deal. I go through all my barriers-single parent home, absent father, rebellious child, basketball playing curious girl who wasn’t a bad rapper, growing up in the projects in South Carolina. I’ve often looked at so many of my obstacles as pain, but Cesar Cruz helped me realize that my pain is now my power.

Growing up the way I did taught me many things: Efficiency. Determination. Resiliencey. Courage. Focused. Delayed Gratification. So much can be learned from the absence of what we believe makes a well rounded childhood. And I’m not sure the presence of what we believe to be the necessary components of a stable and productive childhood are a garauntee for success either. What I am sure of, is that growing up in my circumstances gave me a sense of power that others don’t always have and can’t produce.

When things go awry, I often remind myself, “This is nothing,” because usually it is no comparison to the things my sisters and I faced and overcame. Not having my father around taught me one thing-Do it anyway. No matter the circumstance you face-Do it anyway. No matter the situation-Do it anyway. So what if people don’t believe in you or aren’t sure you can accomplish the goals you have set for yourself. Do it anyway. Figure out what you want and go for it!

Not having money taught me something else-Figure it out. I am a creative problem solver. I know how to “make do” as my mother would say in a way I would not otherwise know and I recognize that it is not the end of the world. There is a way around almost everything. If you are faced with a situation that requires your creativity, you instantly become a lot more creative.

Growing up in the projects gave me something else-A sense of intuition that I have a hard time verbalizing. I read people well and I sense things around me and in others that are not spoken aloud.  Developing an appreciation for Tupac’s linguistic abilities and attempting to imitate him in my own raps that I started writing in 5th grade taught me that I can be an intellectual who loves rap. I do not have to choose to be one or the other. I can be both-and my students appreciate that although I am not sure others understand it or even desire to see the complexity of layers within my personality.

For a long time in my life, I saw my obstacles as pain, but I have learned to use them as power. I recognize that I have developed a tenacity that cannot be inspired in someone, but only earned through experience. I have a determination that I have developed over time by facing obstacle after obstacle and overcoming each one. So my pain is my power. Now, all I have to do is figure out is how to get my students to see their pain as their power. Ideas anyone?

Until next time-be you, be true, be a hope builder,

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